Mama Said There'd Be Days Like This

Work has started.

This week has been a lot of meetings to finalize exams for November (exam period), lots of discussion about wording and content. My lower back hurts from all of the sitting. Other than exams, Lauren is starting a huge project that just got funding approved to get the BLS (lab) students to do rapid HIV testing in 36 high schools around the country, and I am going to be helping in any way that I can.  Then, I have research proposals to mark for tomorrow, and to prepare a course on Dermatology to teach for the next two weeks.  After that the students will be doing skills exams (I will be evaluating), and I will be supervising students in clinical around the country. It feels good.

I’ve been learning so much participating in these exam meetings. Decisions have been made by the collective - everyone is consulted in the process, every decision is a group decision mutually agreed upon. This presents obvious challenges, but somehow it seems to work okay, and it’s totally different from my western background. It surprised me to have my opinion valued and effecting change in this process. It also surprised me to be pseudo-bonding with my boss, Constance (from Kenya). Constance is a powerhouse of a woman, is always at work first and always leaves last. She’s strong willed, overworked, and realistic. I am rarely any of these things. Hah.

I walked up the dirt path today from where the moto dropped me off on the main road, and it hit me (like it does so often) that I am in Africa. That I am in Rwanda. That I am a part of this community. This is the life that I have dreamed about for so long. Actually, it is better than the dream. In my dreams, the work I’m doing is never tangible, there is no sweat on my brow, there is no stress. Life here is not like that. Work is stressful, as is life, and I walk around all day with sweat on my brow. It doesn’t even get washed off most nights because we frequently lack water. So there.

What I am trying to say is that there is a different happiness in this stress, in this sweat. No, its not the happiness that I am used to – the barbeque-and-country-music-with-a-beer, but it is a pure type of happiness. It’s the type of happiness where you feel exhausted most of the time, and are constantly fighting an uphill and sometimes losing battle. A happiness where you forget about pleasures like personal space, simple tasks, and whole wheat bread, and instead indulge in the happiness of almost getting hit by cars and not even flinching, embracing squatting more than you ever have before, or having that awkward moment where you go to shake someone’s hand and they are going for the hug so you compromise with a half hug followed by the handhold.


I am exhausted, broke, smelly, and completely content with my place in the world.